


The Thief and the Conservator

by witchy_teacup



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Art Conservator Aziraphale, Aziraphale Goes by Avery Fell, Cat Burglar Crowley, Crowley Goes by Antoinette, F/F, Female-Presenting Aziraphale (Good Omens), Female-Presenting Crowley (Good Omens), First Dates, First Meetings, Fluff, I have No Excuse, I wrote this instead of the updates I'm supposed to be writing, Ineffable Wives | Female Aziraphale/Female Crowley (Good Omens), Meet-Cute, Professional Thief, Romcom Meeting, She/Her Pronouns for Aziraphale (Good Omens), She/Her Pronouns for Crowley (Good Omens), art conservator, romcom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:46:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25477135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchy_teacup/pseuds/witchy_teacup
Summary: Dr. Avery Fell is an art conservator for a London museum. While working late one day, she has an encounter with a thief that doesn't go as one might expect because this is a RomCom apparently.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 64





	The Thief and the Conservator

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a post on Tumblr.  
> Then this happened.  
> I have no excuse...Enjoy!

The skylight gave a quiet creak as a slender shadowy figure slipped down into the museum. The figure descended with all the grace of a spider in the thin moonlight. They paused ten feet above the floor and tapped at a screen that glowed briefly. There was a small electric noise then they continued their descent. They skulked across the room, keeping low and heading directly toward a large glass display case on the far wall. As they reached the case they pulled out a slim device and their gloved fingers flew across the dim screen until a click echoed quietly in the cavernous room.

They opened the case and started wrapping the small statues in thick soft cloth and stowing them in a duffel bag. The figure paused to compare the remaining statuettes to a list on their device before shutting the case and carefully securing the duffel bag to their back again. They started back across the room and were around halfway back to their climbing rig when the beam of a flashlight bounced across the room as voices echoed down the hallway. The figure ducked behind the closest wide base they could, biting back a swear.

“I’m so sorry to do this, but Mr. Miyamoto insisted that I finish this restoration for tomorrow’s unveiling,” a soft feminine voice said as two figures, one pushing a small cart, the other wielding a long black torch. 

“It’s not a problem, Dr. Fell,” the security guard said cheerfully. He walked alongside the cart as the short curvy woman pushed it towards the case on the far wall. “Gives me a chance to stretch my legs.”

“I really do appreciate it, Mr. Barlow,” Dr. Fell said, as she came to a stop by the case. She tugged on a pair of gloves as Mr. Barlow approached the keypad by the case. 

“What the heck,” he muttered as the case door swung open before he’d even touched the keypad. He pulled out his baton and swung his torch across the room. “Stay here, Dr. Fell,” he said, tone suddenly radiating authority. “There’s been a break in. I need to activate the full system shut down and alert the authorities.”

“Oh my goodness,” Dr. Fell said, clutching a hand to her chest. She looked around the dark room, alarmed as he dashed off, moving much quicker than his bulky frame would have suggested he could.

She stood over the statue on her cart protectively, eyes roving over the dark room anxiously. 

Behind a display case halfway across the room, a thin figure watched the guard hurry out and cursed under their breath. “Time’s up, Crowley, old girl,” she muttered as she turned and eyed the route to her climbing rig. 

As Crowley crept towards her escape route, something in her gear clanged quietly, and she bit back another curse as Dr. Fell called out, “Who’s there? I heard you! The police are on their way!”

Crowley decided there was no other option but to make a run for it. She stood up and dashed toward her rope.

Dr. Fell fumbled in the pocket of her lab coat for her phone. She frowned down at the screen and poked at it cursing herself for never learning a how to use it properly. She fumbled around the screen searching for the flashlight app. As she found it, she aimed it towards where she’d heard the noise, but all she saw was the empty aisle between displays. She frowned and started down that aisle, swinging her light around. 

“Hello?” she called uncertainly as she scurried down the aisle, flinching at shadows. 

Meanwhile, Crowley had managed to hook herself back into her climbing rig. She was about halfway up when Dr. Fell’s light found her. “Shit,” she said trying to gauge whether she could make it the rest of the way before the security guard could get the system up and running. 

Dr. Fell stared up at the slender figure dressed in an honest to Somebody black cat suit with a hood drawn up over her head and a cloth mask drawn up over her mouth and nose. “You’re the thief?” 

“I don’t suppose there’s any chance you’ll let me leave, is there, Angel?” Crowley called down to the pleasantly plump shadow holding the light.

“Not a chance,” Dr. Fell said fiercely. “Those statues belong to the museum!”

“They belong to the Chinese, not some posh British museum,” Crowley countered, inching further up her rope as she spoke. 

“Ah—” Dr. Fell began, but she hesitated, and Crowley cut back in.

“Think about it, Angel. How did most of this junk wind up leaving their countries of origin?”

“You may have a point, thief, but you’re still committing a crime,” Dr. Fell said, turning as a series of doors started slamming shut and an alarm started blaring. 

As she turned, the light moved and Crowley took the opportunity to scurry up the rope further. Now the skylight was almost within reach.

“Come on, Angel,” Crowley said a bit desperately. “I was hired to return these artifacts to China, where they belong.”

“I really shouldn’t let you get away with this,” Dr. Fell said frowning. 

“Look, Angel, the security cameras should still be down until this room’s defenses come back online, so we only have a few moments. Tell me your name and once the heat dies down, I’ll look you up and buy you dinner, okay?”

Dr. Fell bit back a smile and said, “Oh alright, but it had better be a really nice dinner. I could lose my job if they find out I didn’t do anything to stop you when you were right in front of me. My name is Dr. Avery Fell. Now get out of here, thief.”

==

One Year Later

“A package arrived for you, Dr. Fell,” the intern said brightly, holding out a plain brown box, addressed in a neat almost generic if somewhat spindly handwriting. 

Dr. Fell gave the student an absentminded smile and accepted the package. “Thank you, my dear.” She brushed past the student’s desk and shut her office door behind her. She cleared a spot on her desk and set the box down, looking for a return address. She bit her lip as hope flared in her chest when she found it was postmarked from Beijing. “Calm down, old girl,” she murmured as she reached for a pair of scissors to cut the twine and tape holding the package closed.

The package’s scuffed exterior fell away to reveal an envelope resting on a small sea of shredded paper. She fumbled for a letter opener and reverently pulled the letter out. 

Dear Angel,  
I hope this note finds you well.  
Anyways Angel, I owe you dinner. Meet me at the Ritz on the 13th of April at 9pm? The reservation is under your name.  
Yours,  
The Honest Thief  
PS—I got you a little souvenir from my business trip. Don’t worry, I didn’t steal it. Promise.

She clutched the paper to her chest and sank into her chair. “She’s actually going through with it,” she said wonderingly. A soft smile spread across her face before she reached for the box again. She delved into the cushioning sea of paper with careful fingers, wondering what this strangely beguiling thief had sent her.

Her fingertips brushed cool enamel and she pulled back to grab her recycling bin. She carefully transferred the paper shreds to the bin and gasped as she uncovered a set of three delicately enameled bracelets. Each bracelet featured brilliant blue enamel background with fine gold filigree tracing out tiny swirling white feathers wrapping around each bangle.

“Cloisonne,” she breathed, running a finger over one of the bangles. “They’re gorgeous.” She picked one up and slipped it on. “I think I have just the dress to go with these.”

==

“Dr. Fell I presume?”

Dr. Fell looked up from the menu she’d been perusing, and her jaw dropped at the stunning redhead who had spoken as the waiter pulled out the chair for her. She was wearing a gorgeous calf-length dress of delicately beaded black lace. She was wearing her long hair loose in artful curls over one shoulder. 

“Your hair is red!” She blushed as soon as the words left her lips. “I mean—I didn’t expect a shadowy thief to have such bright hair—I mean it’s beautiful.” She tucked one of her own pale curls behind her ear. “I mean, hello, I’m Avery Fell.”

“Antoinette Crowley, and I prefer the term ‘recovery expert’,” she said as she slipped into the seat across from the plump blonde. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Angel.”

“You too, thief.” Avery smiled and added, “When I got your note, I almost didn’t believe it when you said to meet you at the Ritz of all places.”

“Well you said it had to be a nice dinner, Angel.”

“If your aim was to impress me, consider it a success,” Avery said, toasting her with her water glass.

Crowley’s gaze snagged on the trio of blue bracelets around Avery’s wrist and she gave her a slow smile. “Do you like them?”

Avery smiled and touched the bracelets on her wrist and said, “I do. They’re beautiful. Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, Angel. When I saw them I just knew they belonged on your wrist.” She glanced over the wine menu and asked, “White or red, Angel?”

“Red please.”

Crowley glanced up at the waiter and ordered the wine, before she turned her gaze back to her dinner companion. “I hope you didn’t have to go out and buy that dress to match them?”

“No, I actually already owned this dress,” Avery said, brushing a hand down the ivory and blue pleated bodice of her dress. 

“It suits you.” Crowley grinned as Avery blushed prettily. “I’m glad you came, Angel. I wasn’t sure you would.”

“I was honestly surprised that you asked.”

“I may be a thief, but I keep my promises.”

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hope you enjoyed this random RomCom and tumblr inspired fic. Let me know what you think!
> 
> I know I've been really sporadic in my updates lately, but real life has been kicking my butt like nobody's business, and I haven't had the time/energy/motivation for writing. This fic is literally the only half-decent thing I've been able to churn out in the past month.
> 
> If you're waiting on an update for Snake Secret or Kidnapped By Pirates Is Good, I'm sorry. I promise they're coming. I haven't abandoned them, I swear.


End file.
